Promises and Regrets
by skitskat24
Summary: Axel and Demyx were head over heels for each other... until Axel let Demyx know whatever they had was fake, just him getting over Roxas. Now Demyx is crushed, but can Axel fix things before it's too late? Story is better than the summary by FAR!
1. Chapter 1

Promises and Regrets chapter 1: Why?

It hurts to think about him now. Before, every time he entered my mind all I could think of was him. Now I just want to forget him. Why, Axel, why? How could you do that to me? I thought you really loved me, that what we had was real. Now I see it was all a sham, just him trying to forget Roxas.

But... I don't understand how he could be so _cold_. He seemed so uncaring when he told me the farce of a relationship we had was over. Even if he's a Nobody and supposedly doesn't have a heart, he could've shown at least a ghost of some emotion. When he told me to get lost he really seemed... heartless. I always thought of Axel as one person who could make you feel warm, no matter what. But now I see he's just like all the others, cold and unforgiving.

"Roxas... why'd you have to leave?" He was my best friend too, and even if it meant I'd never get a shot at Axel I'd bring Roxas back as fast as possible. They were both my best friends, and now I'm alone. Alone. It stings just to think of the word. I can remember his touch, his soft eyes, his voice. I can remember how he would say he loves me, and I'd look into those eyes and see he wasn't lying. But I guess he's just a really good actor because I believed every word. I believed he loved me when he kissed me, I believed him when he touched me, I believed him when he made my scream in pleasure, I believed him when he held me close and buried his face in my hair. I believed him, and I loved him back with everything I had. But it was all a lie. I remember it so well, the day he left me:

_~flashback~_

_ "Axel! Hey!" I ran up to him in the hall of the castle, excited to see my lover. But when he turned to face me his gaze was cold and he looked almost angry. I stopped dead in my tracks, a few feet away, "Axel? Axel, what's wrong?"_

_ "Just leave me alone, Demyx," he sounded so... so cold. It was beginning to scare me, what had happened that made him this way?_

_ "Axel, what's up? What's going on?" He turned away from me, and that's when I began to get really scared, "A-Axel?"_

_ "We're over, Demyx," he just walked away. I was stunned, what did I do wrong? I ran after him, trying to grab his arm only to have him pull it away. "You didn't do anything wrong except believe the lie."_

_ "W-what do you mean?" I couldn't understand, why would he say such a thing?_

_ "I mean, I never loved you, Demyx. Now leave me be, we're done. Roxas is gone, and I've gotten over it, I don't need you anymore," he never met my gaze once. I was frozen in my place, dropping to my knees as the weight of it all came crushing down. Axel never loved me, he was just using me. I saw him sneer at me as he walked away, shattering something that would've been my heart had I had one. That's when the first tears came._

_~end flashback~_

I thought I loved Axel, I thought he was amazing. I thought he would always be the one person who'd never leave me, who'd always be by my side. But I guess he forgot that promise, and now I'm all alone with nothing left but my sitar. I try to make music they way I used to, but now the notes come out wrong and empty. I have no one to be my muse, no one to inspire me to create the lovely songs I once did. I guess now I'm truly a Nobody, because now I can really feel the emptiness that comes with not having a heart. I still believe we have hearts, yes, but mine was just shattered by the one person I thought would always protect and cherish it. I always thought we had a purpose, even though everyone said we were never meant to exist. But what happens when that purpose, that reason to live and _be_ disappears? Well, then you have a choice: continue to live without purpose or leave it all behind and get dragged down right along with that purpose. The two people I cared about most have left me to fend for myself, and make my own choices. I think I know which choice I'm going to make.


	2. Chapter 2

Promises and Regrets ch. 2 – How Could I?

I couldn't get his face out of my mind. I tried my hardest to think of other things –fire, Roxas, Sora, chakrams- but I always end up back at Demyx's face. His face held the saddest expression I had ever seen when I said what I did only a day ago. He looked so crushed and hopeless, as if the world just came crashing to a stop. It was awful. Somewhere in the very back of my mind, I wanted to hold him and tell him it was only a joke, and that I loved him. But I just sneered and walked away from possibly the only person who ever loved me.

I was staring at the black ceiling of my room, my back on my bed, thinking of what I had done. If I needed to use Demyx to help me forget Roxas, I doubt I truly love Roxas. And judging on how Roxas _left the Organization,_ he obviously didn't truly love me. But did I truly love Demyx? I know for a fact that he loved me sincerely. He was always looking out for me, always trying to keep me from making stupid mistakes. He always was waiting for me with open arms if I needed reassurance, and he was always ready to give me anything I needed. That's one of the things that's killing me about leaving him.

One memory of our time together keeps coming up, but it's the one I want to remember least. It's not the day I left him, but it was probably our happiest day together. It holds one of my strongest memories, and it's killing me how wonderful it was as I replay it over and over in my mind, unable to stop…

_~Flashback~_

"Hey Axel, do Nobodies have birthdays?"Demyx was at it again, asking me the most random question he could think of at the oddest time.

I chuckled at his weirdness for asking me this on the way to his room, "Well, I guess if a Nobody can remember their original birthday, then they could celebrate that if they wanted to."

"But what if they couldn't remember?" His big, ocean-blue eyes were filled with innocent curiosity. It was adorable. It was moments like these that made me forget what I was really doing.

I had to stop for a moment and ponder his question shortly before resuming to walk and telling Dem his theory. "I guess if you can't remember then I assume you'd celebrate the day you became a Nobody." After I finished he put on what I had dubbed his "thoughtful Demyx" face.

"Hey… didn't you become a Nobody… today?" He asked as we reached his room. What was today's date? June 18th?

"Hmm, now that you mention it, I think it was today that I joined the Organization," I laughed at the short flashback I got of my total zombie-ness during the first few days in the Orgy. For some reason Demyx lit up at the information, "Why do you ask?" I was getting suspicious as I entered the room and plopped down on his bed. He just grinned and walked over to his closet.

"Oh, no reason," he dug around in there for a good minute before puling his head out with two boxes, wrapped up in shiny black paper and tied with red ribbon. He sat down beside me and put them in my lap before kissing my cheek, "Happy Birthday Axel."

I felt a very not-manly shade of pink creep across my cheeks, but I didn't care. I looked over at the beaming musician with a good-natured smirk. "You planned this whole thing out didn't you?"

"Mayyybbee~," he giggled as he poked at the larger present, "well? Open it!" He grinned and pulled and prodded at the gift like a kid on Christmas day who's waiting for the okay to open gifts.

"Alright, Alright, sheesh," I laughed as I burned off the bow and let the rest of the ribbon fall away as I eagerly tore away the black wrapping paper. I had never been given a gift before, so this was a rather exciting and touching moment for me. I stopped a minute from tearing away the paper to give my boyfriend a noogie and a kiss on the forehead, which got him to giggle and blush a little bit. I continued tearing away the black paper from the larger present, and ended up with a black guitar case in my lap.

"Well? Open it up!" Demyx was beaming, and you could only imagine how adorable he looks when he does that. I undid the clasps on the case and flipped it open, only to reveal a sleek, black and red acoustic Taylor guitar. It was gorgeous, the neck and the top part of the body of the guitar were black, but faded into a deep red near the bottom, making it look a little like flames. "I had a few pennies saved for a rainy day, and I didn't spend all my savings on it, so don't flip out. I thought maybe I could give you lessons!" Demyx was grinning ear to ear the whole time, looking no less than ecstatic.

"Dem… this is absolutely amazing! Thank you so much!" My lips were on his before I even finished my sentence, the guitar put back in it's case and put aside, and you could feel the smile on both our lips. He amazed me sometimes. Is he even really a Nobody? He's the most kind, thoughtful, caring, and compassionate I had ever met. It was then, in the very back corner of my mind, did I realize how much I loved this kid. But I would never admit it, because that little sun in my life was still blocked by the clouds, those lingering memories of Roxas I was trying so hard to forget. But at the moment, I wasn't thinking about that, I was thinking about the joy this little dork kept giving me. You know, if I could _feel._ We broke away with a little laugh (well, I laughed. He giggled).

"Axel, you still got one more present," he laughed and handed me the small box, more or less the size of a jewelry box from a store. I laughed as I tore away the ribbon and wrapping paper. No surprise to find a jewelry box, but the real surprise was what was inside. It was enormously large gift in such a small package. It was a black leather choker, looking a bit like a collar as it buckled up in the back. All along the sides were red rhinestones, and not the cheap kind. And on the front, hanging off from a ring, was a perfect ruby, no fingerprints or chips or smudges, shaped almost like a flame. It was gorgeous, and I think Demyx could tell it meant a lot to me. "I have one too, in a water version," he smiled and pulled his out of his pocket, similar to mine, only with blue rhinestones and a sapphire on the front, shaped like a raindrop (A/N: I didn't want to say tear, it makes it sound sad). I set the box on the guitar case on the ground, and slipped the choker around my neck and buckled it behind my head with a soft smile. And, soon enough, he did the same with his. I opened my arms a little, and he immediately fell into them, letting us fall against my bed. This situation is just so confusing, how am I able to feel all these emotion around him when I'm a Nobody? It was hard to answer that question, because every time Demyx and I had one of these moments, it's like I could only focus on him and those emotions. There was no fiery passion, but just… tender love and sweetness. "Axel," he asked as he curled his head into the crook of my neck, "Can you promise me something? Can you promise me that you'll never leave me? Even if we break up or something happens, can you just promise me this?"

It was times like these where that back corner of my mind spoke up, blotted out those clouds of Roxas and let Demyx's sun shine through. "Of course Demyx, I promise."

~_End Flashback~_

I broke that promise, I broke our friendship, I broke our relationship, and, worst of all, I broke _him._ What did I do? Why did I do it? How could I have done that? I shunned and hurt the one person who really, truly loved me… I can't stand myself. I miss his smile, his laugh, his warmth. I miss him. I need him back. I love him. Now, after every thing that's happened, I can finally admit it. I need to find him. I need to make this right before it's too late. I launch off my bed and out the door with only one thought.

_I need to make this right._


End file.
